Something kind of awful happened at work this week. I’m still trying to put it out of my mind because it’s done and I can’t go back in time and change anything, but so far it’s still bugging the living hell out of me.
Everyone – coworkers, supervisors and everyone who has ever seen me do my job – agrees that I didn’t do anything wrong and that I couldn’t have done better. They keep telling me that it’s insane and that I was great. And I know that I was great. My client’s guardian, who I just realized has never even seen me working with my client, asked that somebody else work with her because she (the guardian, not my client) is not happy with the way that (she assumes) I do my job. Any of the competent coworkers who replace me, by the way, will do it essentially the same way I did, because we know the way this client is with us and we have seen huge successes since I’ve been with her. But it doesn’t matter. One ignorant, irrational parent can decide on a whim that I am not good for their child. And the only thing that bothers me about this, besides that I know this client will miss me and will probably have some setbacks while transitioning to another staff person, is this woman is wrong. She is wrong about me! Despite having everyone else who matters in my corner, despite all the outrage my lovely and knowledgeable work friends have on my behalf, it is driving me up the wall. And, it’s not even about me really, it’s not something I can get into but I think basically she would like her daughter to be treated like a child forever, no matter that she’s capable of much more, because that’s what is comfortable.
I’ve always struggled with being defensive about my work, but in this case the person with the problem is the one person Just Doesn’t Get It and so, it’s not about being afraid to make a mistake. There was no mistake. I did my best and my best, at this job, has been fucking great. I did everything right and it doesn’t matter. How frustrating is that?
Anyhow, I will have a set schedule with another person who’s a good fit soon. I’m trusting my somewhat unreliable office to follow through for me. I know that they really value my work, so it’s not as if I’m unemployed. In the meantime, I’m filling in and working with clients who I already kind of knew. It’s bearable. But I’m updating my resume. Maybe it’s just time to go. It makes me sad, but this setback has pushed me to look for a job more appropriate for my qualifications. I knew I couldn’t live with this income forever and perhaps it’s a kick I needed.
And just like with my break up, I’ll just hope that that woman realizes what she lost and is incredibly sad and miserable about it for the rest of her days on earth. One can dream.