I’m a little scared. Not surprised, though.

I don’t know what would be worse – that supporters of “personhood” legislation are on a cold, calculated mission to overturn Roe v. Wade by any means, to the degree that they are indifferent to the gross and illogical consequences of their extremism OR that supporters wholly and fervently believe that a fertilized egg is metaphysically identical to any human person and should legally be treated as such, at the expense, of course, of the human person who might be incubating said egg. It’s probably a healthy mix of both kinds of craziness.

A person’s a person no matter how small! Fuck off. (Not you, Dr. Seuss. The assholes would have come to this idea on their own, and might not all be simple enough to take moral advice from a cartoon elephant.)

I can’t even stomach trying to write a more intelligent, respectful or persuasive response than that. Other people certainly have. Just. Fuck. Off.

I would, however, like to point out, since something like 80% of fertilized eggs never make it past implantation, since I may have been sexually active in the past month, and since I am currently mid-menses, that what appears to be a crime scene in my panties (heavy flow!) could in fact be considered a crime scene in the impending dystopian nightmare that this fantastic country of ours is fast becoming.

I would also like to point out that it’s going to be tricky to ensure that blastocysts are able to take advantage of all of their new liberties, such as 2nd amendment rights. Can scientists engineer microscopic firearms? I truly hope so.