witch doctor


I should not have mentioned feeling healthier than ever a few posts back because Thursday I went and twisted my back. I did all my stretching and icing and whatnot and did ask a close and personal friend for help in loosening it up last night (and this morning, and this afternoon) but it’s going to need to be addressed.

One thing I haven’t tried is a chiropractor and I have an appointment with one tomorrow afternoon. Also planning to get some prescribed massage therapy because I have flex spending funds and now that my birth control is free (SLUTS FOR OBAMA! WOO!) and I’ve already bought three pairs of glasses, I need to get creative.

Anyway, I once saw a 20/20 segment on chiropractors as a youngster and so I’ve spent a great deal of time believing the myths about how it’s not real medicine and also that every 3rd chiropractic patient ends up permanently disabled due to some sort of spine embolism. Yay for reeducation as an adult, but I’m still a tiny bit nervous.

S0, if I do end up paralyzed, then end up pulling a Sea Inside to make a statement about autonomy, I hope I’ve made it clear that I am not ok with RIP messages posted to my Facebook wall. If I’m dead, I’m not checking Facebook.

I’m bequeathing Kitchen Aid Stand Mixer to my sister. My book and DVD collection goes to my brother, with the condition that he adopt a hypoallergenic kitten in my honor and name him MEOW! THAT’S WHAT I CALL MUSIC. Hamlet is under no condition to be entrusted to my mother because, though I love her, I don’t want him raised with republican values. My dearest friends don’t have room for another cat – although one of theirs is morbidly obese, so they might soon have an opening. I’m decidedly against having him mummified with my corpse. I guess my brother could also use the life insurance money to get some allergy shots.