dec. 14 – madness

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Some things are beyond comprehension. I mean, I think I understand parts well enough, the threads that seem to make up this kind of violence, but not the whole. How can it be that somebody was sick enough to take 26 lives today, at a goddamn elementary school.

I really don’t like the talk happening around this, even when people make points I agree with.

I don’t think it’s wrong that people insist that we address gun control, as Gabrielle Giffords’s husband did recently, because if the issue is not relevant now, when is it? Because we are a nation with a short attention span and it’s only a matter of time before Dancing With the Stars or some shit returns and makes us feel better and complacent. Because we can commit the sin of “politicizing” tragedy if there’s any chance it can do any good, in my opinion.

But…all that seems self-righteous. But…It may make someone feel better, it might feel like doing something.

The thing I hate is that no belief about politics, psychology, or any combination of beliefs can bring me to understanding the reality of what happened. That today happened, that any number of atrocities happened, and that they will continue to happen. Chimpanzees form tribes and fight and kill and eat each other’s babies. Someone in Lawrence, Massachusetts is torturing and mutilating cats in notably horrific ways. Three women in the United States are murdered every day by current or former intimate partners. I’m not saying all these are equal, how do you quantify cruelty?

I would like to say that I don’t comprehend but the truth is, I’m afraid that it might not be that complicated. I’m afraid that every person is born with potential and something is written into our genes or our being such that…look. Look what people do.

It makes me think WHAT THE FUCK and it brought be back to this Dear Sugar column that has been so deservedly acclaimed.

Cheryl Strayed said,

It took me years to figure that out. To hold the truth within me that some things are so sad and wrong and unanswerable that the question must simply stand alone like a spear in the mud.

People are quoting Fred Rogers on Facebook, too.

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.

I’ve been dwelling on all this and it’s not as though it’s going to get me anywhere. That’s just it.

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