me me me me


Apparently no one wants to get sober just prior to July 4, so work is a bit slow at the moment.

I have scheduled my own brand of fun (sex marathon) for July 4 eve. I have been very distracted anticipating it.

Otherwise, not much to report.

I should have heard about grad school at the end of last week but haven’t. (I DIDN’T GET IN AND I’M SO UNDESIRABLE THAT THEY CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO TELL ME, obviously. Or I’ll just get something in the mail soon.)

I have made some progress cleaning and organizing my stuff, especially clothes but I still live in a den of dust and dirty laundry. I’m starting to think that living with that and procrastinating and being lazy makes it easier for me to stay lazy and unmotivated in every other area. I feel energized when things are neat. I need to keep this routine so that i don’t sink back into the Land of Blah.

Because, objectively, my life is pretty awesome right now. I’m getting recognition at work. I think my sleep issues are improving. I am doing ok balancing bills and fun things. I really like living with my brother. I really like my friends.

I can’t complain. I just don’t always feel as joyful as I think I should.

Coming home to a cluttered apartment where I had yucky chores to do made life feel disproportionately unfun. It’s always little things that I let pile up and become overwhelming. No more! I’m continuing my organization rampage.

I’m going to buy a bigger bed and some sort of furniture and start enjoying my giant bedroom.

I have been single long enough that this should have been accomplished, but I’m really going to Do Me. Which means not just being boring and watching television to relieve stress, but actually, actively taking care of myself.