infatuated

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Hamlet has obtained fleas. It’s very unfortunate and frustrating because he is an indoor cat. Also because, gross.

I’m working a short week this week because of the holiday. It has been pretty incredibly sucky. Apparently, it is a bad idea for me to use my vacation time. Or, it’s a good idea if I enjoy returning to do a bunch of shit that other people should have been able to handle in my absence in addition to the regular shit I do, which is too much for one person on its own. Oh but don’t worry, I’m paid very little.

 

Despite those two issues (three including being slightly poor), I’m so fucking happy right now. I’m like IN TROUBLE in regard to this new fellow because I am 1) very smitten and 2) very anxious about being this vulnerable. I would say I’m experiencing 90% glee and excitement and 10% terror. It’s so new and maybe that’s why it’s fun.

I don’t know if I’ve ever been so excited about somebody this soon. That is a lie. I definitely have not been this excited about somebody this soon. I want to just see him and cuddle him and cook dinner for him and learn how to knit and make him a sweater. [Forget fleas, I’m gross.]

So fuck. That is scary. But I’m going to be fine no matter what. I have the rest of my life together in an unprecedented way. In reality being open to this person is not brave, it is just what people do, but I feel brave.

 

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